Unbreak My Heart by Melissa Walker

Author:Melissa Walker [Walker, Melissa]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Published: 2012-05-21T22:00:00+00:00

chapter twenty-two

Dear Amanda,

On my birthday, it wasn’t what you thought—

The day I turned sixteen was a teacher workshop day, so I spent the morning at the DMV and passed my test with flying colors. Dad handed over the keys instantly. “Go have fun,” he said.

I dropped him off at home and sat in the driver’s seat as I texted all my friends to see who could hang out with me.

The first reply came from Ethan: I’m in. come get me.

I waited exactly twelve minutes, by the clock on the dashboard, to see if anyone else would answer. They didn’t. I felt a small thrill at the thought of picking up Ethan and driving around with him, alone.

He was standing in his driveway when I got there. His hair was wet from the shower. I wondered if he had taken one after I texted, if he was clean just for me. When he got in the car he smelled fresh, like Old Spice and spearmint gum.

It was a sunny day and the temperature was in the seventies, so we rolled down the windows and took a left on Rural Route 102. You take a right to go into town; there’s no real reason to go left—it just leads to a narrow stretch that passes some farmland out in the county, and eventually it becomes a dirt road. But Ethan hadn’t been out that way, and it’s pretty in some parts. It seemed like a good idea.

The road was fun to drive, too—lots of valleys and views.

“Do things look different from the driver’s seat?” asked Ethan as we dipped down a hill. I could see cows in a field ahead, and I remembered coming out here on a field trip in first grade. Amanda and I got to give a bottle to a newborn calf.

“They do,” I said. “I feel like I’m actively involved in the landscape, rather than just watching it go by.”

And I realized as I said it that that’s what being with Ethan felt like. Like I wasn’t watching and waiting for something to happen, for someone to notice me, for life to come my way. I was participating in life. I was making decisions.

“No song game today?” asked Ethan, teasing me.

I had my iPod plugged into the radio jack, but we were listening to a Bon Iver album straight through.

“We could put on one of your playlists,” I said, kind of excited about the idea of listening to his playlist with him.

“No fair,” he said. “Then all the songs are how I feel about you, and none are how you feel about me.”

Right then, I felt the day going from exciting but ordinary birthday to the possibility of more. But more what? It wasn’t like when we went to the movies, where we nervously laughed and brushed hands and flirted, or even when I sat on the couch watching Spike Lee and let his hand touch mine. This felt bigger.

I considered turning back, saying I only had the car for an hour, making up an excuse about having to meet Amanda later.

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